Grief is one of the major emotions we deal with as human beings. As we become more experienced in life, we deal with more instances that cause us to grieve. Grief can be debilitating, life-consuming with effects that disrupt our entire sense of normal. It is also subtle, happening daily on levels that we tend to overlook, dismiss or that we do not even know about.
There are two main types of grief, incidental and acute. Incidental grief is something that we deal with daily. It comes from things like missing our traffic light, being late for an appointment, having a bad experience at dinner, your favorite show didn’t record, getting a speeding ticket, misplacing an item, making a mistake, even breaking a favorite item. Acute grief is exactly that, instant, unexpected and severe. It is overwhelming, consuming our every thought and emotion. It is not something that we will move on from, it is something that will change the landscape of our life forever, and it is for that CHANGE, that perceived loss that we grieve. Fortunately, there are many ways we can deal with both of these without drugs or conventional therapies.
Knowing why we grieve is a key to being able to cope with and even overcome the sadness, loneliness, anger, depression and many other feelings that can be part of the process. The reason comes down to this simple thing: Grief is a direct result of being “attached” to something or someone.
We will, as is our nature, attach ourselves to things or people or animals. This is a natural part of being human. We are material; we live in a material world. We use things, we love places, we cherish our pets, children, loved ones, even the possession we are able to have. In the teachings of many methods of enlightenment, we are encouraged to let go of our attachments. There are many methods that are supposed to help us learn how to do that. The issue with that is we are made to be material; we are created to be physical.
Expecting the ordinary person to be able to go against their natural instincts and let go of “loving” things, people, places, etc. is not reasonable. Most of us do not have the desire or time it takes to mediate and sacrifice in order to become totally unattached. Not everyone wants to do that, and that is okay! For those of us who continue to grieve there are easy to use tools that will help us to deal with our grief every day.
With the help of different Personal Power tools, we are able to help ourselves through the grief emotion in a healthy, productive way.
Following is a great list of easy to use, mostly free items or actions we can do anytime, anywhere to help alleviate the heaviness that grief brings to our world:
The Number One best, quickest and most simple thing we can do is add the color orange to our life.
Ø Wear orange clothing. The vibration, whether it can be seen or not, will help support a person in even the earliest stages of grieving. If you like the color orange, all the better. If you don’t, wear it under other colors. Whether you can see it or not, the vibration will be working for you. Work it into your wardrobe as much as possible. Orange tee shirts, underwear, ties, shirts, shorts, accessories, bras, shoes, camis, jewelry, there is no limit!
Of course it is not reasonable to wear oranges all of the time. Other ways you can add orange to every day include:
Ø A piece of orange cloth, felt or paper under your pillow or between your mattress and box spring.
Ø Use an orange bedspread or sheets.
Ø Orange gemstones
Ø Buy orange flowers for your home.
Ø Make an effort to catch the sunrise or sunset each day, if it’s not cloudy.
Ø Eat orange foods, oranges, pumpkin, carrots, mango, peaches.
Ø Paint a wall orange (any shade). Petting an orange animal.
Ø Even simply visualizing yourself surrounded by orange glowing light will energize your body, mind and spirit to help you through the process of grief in a healthy natural way.
Certain gemstones help to diffuse and eliminate the energy of grief. You can sleep with them, wear them as jewelry or simply carry these around with you in a pocket, tucked into a bra or even laying on your desk, end table or night stand. The more powerful ones are:
Ø Apache Tear
Ø Clear Quartz
Essential oils are becoming very popular, and there are several that help with the Grief Reflex.
The top oils to use:
Ø Clary Sage,
Rub them on your temples, wrists, neck and chest. Use in a diffuser or mix with water and mist into the air and on surfaces. Others such as Turmeric, Vetiver, Ylang-ylang and Ginger are good as well.
Soaking in a bath of Epsom or Himalayan salts or soaking your feet for 20 minutes in warm water with the salts added will help to increase minerals that are depleted during times of stress, high pressure and anxiety. This in turn helps the body to produce more balanced hormones that support the body’s heath. This helps to lessen the aches and pains that come with grieving.
Putting your hand over the center of your chest then taking several deep breaths will release the hormone oxytocin. This induces a feeling of being loved and safe, which will help us to feel supported when we are feeling sad and alone. With your hand in place, breathe in through your nose, deeply into the bottom of your lungs. Hold that breath for a count of eight, then slowly release it from your mouth.
As we all become more aware that we do not have to become attached to the physical things in our lives to be complete, our times of grief will become less often. Only deep attachments such as to people or pets will cause us to deal with the emotions that grief brings.
Using our Personal Power, we can easily help ourselves each day to let go of the incidental grief and support ourselves during times of acute grief.
Amber Delwey is a certified Life Coach specializing in helping others use their own Personal Power to naturally enhance and attract The Best Life possible. cc The Amber Light 2017