Perspective: It Will Get You When You Least Expect It

Posted on February 12, 2014


I sat down here at my desk at work to take a lunch break. I open up and start reading some of my peeps stuff.

Now I am at work, a job, not the THING I want to do with my life, but something to pay the bills. You know, woe is me, I gotta go there again today and push paper. Money is tight, I miss my cat, wish I lived closer to my Mom, miss my friend Tom, want to go on a trip, wish I was a best selling author, I had a bad dinner out…on and on.


Athena/Venus as a morning star today. Shining brightly with hope and love for all!

Athena/Venus as a morning star today. Shining brightly with hope and love for all!


Then I read the story of someone who is a very good friend in the blog-o-sphere. She tragically lost her baby brother to a horrible accident. And forty years later, I feel her grief and pain come through those words and straight into my heart. What a burden to bear, feeling that because you said go play with the others, it is your fault he died. That is a life long hurt and question of your judgment I have never had to know.

Next up is another dear, dear blogger friend whose brother has been slowly and agonizingly dying for years of a muscle disease that has slowly robbed him of the ability to move. He is end-stage now and this angelic, heroic sister has been caring for him every minute. Forsaking everything in her life to care for her sibling. Watching helplessly as the progress has taken her brother from strong man to puddle of mush. Un-endingly at his side through it all.

Last is a friend who has a child who is hurting so deeply inside from the changes that have happened in their lives that the child feels hopeless. From straight A’s to straight F’s, from a happy child to a dark, sullen, angry person. Someone who would want to be dead rather than muscle through to the next bright spot in life, a person who has lost HOPE. A heart wrenching place for a parent to be, watching this change, trying to help and being blamed and hated for interfering. (That is the burden of being a parent, at some point your children will hate you for something. Thankfully, hate is just another form of love, a form of caring, so take heart, parents, “I hate you” really means “I love you but I am hurt, pissed and confused.”)

And then I stop thinking of me, stop giving the trivial small crap any thought at all. As my Mom says “Little troubles. That’s what you want if Trouble comes your way, the easy ones.” The ones that annoy us but we handle and move along without having to deal with them again.

I want to thank the Universe for this moment in my life where my troubles are small. I have had big trouble times, and made it through. And I have things that have left their mark, as the ones above have done to my friends. Scars, as the adage goes, are evidence that we have been through a trial, made it out the other side and are a bit stringer in that place because of it. Now if we carry too much “scar tissue”, physical or emotional, it will hinder us. That is where doing things to get rid of the grief, guilt and shame are important and useful. Here is one about ways to relieve grief and depression. 

Here is another about dealing with feelings of loss.   This is a really important one…how to forgive yourself  or others for things that you may or may not have had any control over!

So for Mama Bear, Terry and my darlings in Ohio…this is for you….You are in my daily prayer, in the stories I share with others, in my heart. You are loved, you are heroic and you will survive, you will triumph and you will be OK!!!!


Thank you for keeping me grounded and continuing to look for ways to help others deal with this thing we call Life!!!



IPL building downtown Indianapolis for Valentine's week

IPL building downtown Indianapolis for Valentine’s week